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| Demons (2) | ||
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The
ugliness within
Common examples of unsavoury behaviour:
Believing that your self-image is the real you
Gossip
Conceit
Taking advantage of people
Vanity
Rigid, fixed ideas about things
Pride
Attention-seeking
Arrogance
Conflict/resistance
Expecting to understand everything immediately
Argument
Pettiness
The desire to control others
Manipulative behaviour
Aggression
Bullying
Passive-aggressive behaviour
Verbal masturbation
Tolerance/intolerance
Excess
Game-playing
Boredom
A lack of openness to new/unfamiliar ideas
Stinginess
Boasting
Laziness
An unwillingness to try things
Greed
Apathy
Sponging off other people
Bragging
Indolence
Flamboyance
Callousness
Jealousy
Hypocrisy
The need to be right/self-righteousness
Judgemental
Anger
Mean spirited
Hero-worship
Emotional vampire
Stubbornness
Thrill-seeking
Lack of sensitivity
Thinking that everything is about you
Putting people down
Sarcasm
Cruelty
Not listening to people when they talk
Competing with other people
Impatience
Lip service
Ignorance
Spite
Needing to be entertained/stimulated by other people
Selfishness
Lack of reciprocity
Resentment
Bigotry
Rudeness
Expecting people to be accountable to you
Back-stabbing
Falsehood
Over-analysing
Phoney behaviour
Overly-critical
Clinging to the known/fear of the unknown
Irritation
Recklessness
Fault finding
Seeing what you want to see rather than what is right in front of you
Showing off
(The list will be
different for everyone but you get the general idea?)
Tolerance/intolerance
One of the foulest demons is the notion of 'tolerance'.
It is predicated by the erroneous idea that you are the centre of things,
that your standards and values are proper and correct.
And that other people should measure up to your ideals.
This is downright absurd.
Tolerate means 'to put up with'. Who are you to put up with anyone?
Why are you the centre around which others must orbit?
What makes you the authority?
On what basis do you assert this position?
There
are roads which must not be followed.
(Sun Tzu)
Rudeness
We live in an era where people are saturated by e-mails and text messages.
It may not be possible to provide a lengthy reply to every inquiry.
But unfortunately the effects of information overload are permeating all
aspects of human interaction.
Manners
People are less inclined to say please or thank you.
Impatience is commonplace.
Plans have become protean, commitment undesirable and 'being considerate'
perhaps a little old fashioned...
No more treating others as you would like to be treated yourself... Consider: a person may receive many e-mails and texts without reciprocating yet expect
an immediate reply to their own inquiry.
See the disparity?
Self mastery
Lao Tzu said: "master self before attempting to
master others."
This is why the study books are useful.
Everyone has personal demons to face. If you have no control over your own behaviour, how exactly can you hope
to employ tai chi skilfully with a partner or an opponent?
Demon-slaying
Your personal demons are your responsibility to sort out.
They are not the teacher's responsibility.
The aim is to eradicate (or at least be aware of) our less desirable qualities
so that we can bring forth "the better angels of our nature" and have these at
the forefront.
It is a journey of increasing self-awareness.
An awakening.
The catch is that you have to be aware of the demons before seeking to
be rid of them.
Now that is the hard part.
The sensei is not a therapist.
The goal of the dojo is to make healthy people healthier, physically and
psychologically and spiritually. It cannot be expected to repair badly
damaged human beings. As so if a member exhibits serious personal problems,
the sensei's job is to get rid of him, gracefully if possible, forcefully
and definitively if necessary.
(Dave Lowry)
Page created
18 April 1995
Last updated
16 June 2023
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