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Machismo
Many martial arts classes adhere to an image that is reminiscent of the Kirk
Douglas movie Spartacus.
Muscled men strut around, pouting and macho. There is rough humour and sweat.
Nobody especially likes anyone else. The goal is to be the best, the toughest,
the scariest, the meanest.
This kind of atmosphere is not very healthy. It promotes negative emotions and
insecurity.
Showing off is the fool's idea of
glory.
(Bruce Lee)
Proof
Roberto Sharpe once spoke of how some people play nice and
speak softly yet become aggressive during partner work. In tai chi we are
interested only in what is real.
A person can play whatever image suits their ego but their behaviour reveals
the truth.
Funky talk
Common conversations in modern society:
Boasting, bragging or showing off
Competing with other people
Telling people how busy you are
Talking about drinking/getting drunk
Holidays
Politics
Not having enough money
Not having time
Being tired
News issues/current events
Opinions
Pretending to be complaining when in fact boasting
Game playing
A lot of friendships and conversations in our lives revolve around rather obvious
'cultural games' designed to promote status/prestige.
See Games People Play: The Psychology of Human Relationships by Eric
Berne...
Both families and friends deliberately or unconsciously employ manipulative
games. They can be quite a strain.
Faux friends
It is common for people to be friendly and talkative when they want
something and then haughty and distant on all other occasions.
This is a Chinese insight: "one face for
giving and one face for taking".
Essentially, the individual is only being friendly because they want
something from you. Faux friendly.
Their apparent friendship is false; merely a ploy designed to manipulate
you. In reality, they are anything but friendly.
Showboating
Some people like the idea of being somehow famous/a celebrity. They are very
vain; preening and posing in the hope of garnering attention and fame.
Everyone around them is inadvertently cast as their audience... The quest
for approval suggests insecurity and indicates weakness of character, fear
and shame.
Why is it that we crave to be
recognized, to be made much of, to be encouraged? Why is it that we are such
snobs? Why is it that we cling to our exclusiveness of name, position,
acquisition? Is anonymity degrading, and to be unknown despicable? Why do we
pursue the famous, the popular? Why is it that we are not content to be
ourselves? Are we frightened and ashamed of what we are, that name, position
and acquisition become so all-important? It is curious how strong is the
desire to be recognized, to be applauded. In the excitement of a battle, one
does incredible things for which one is honoured; one becomes a hero for
killing a fellow man. Through privilege, cleverness, or capacity and
efficiency, one arrives somewhere near the top - though the top is never the
top, for there is always more and more in the intoxication of success. The
country or the business is yourself; on you depend the issues, you are the
power. Organized religion offers position, prestige and honour; there too
you are somebody, apart and important. Or again you become the disciple of a
teacher, of a guru or Master, or you co-operate with them in their work. You
are still important, you represent them, you share their responsibility, you
have and others receive. Though in their name, you are still the means. You
may put on a loincloth or the monk's robe, but it is you who are making the
gesture, it is you who are renouncing.
In one way or another, subtly or grossly, the self is nourished and
sustained. Apart from its antisocial and harmful activities, why has the
self to maintain itself? Though we are in turmoil and sorrow, with passing
pleasures, why does the self cling to outer and inner gratifications, to
pursuits that inevitably bring pain and misery? The thirst for positive
activity as opposed to negation makes us strive to be; our striving makes us
feel that we are alive, that there is a purpose to our life, that we shall
progressively throw off the causes of conflict and sorrow. We feel that if
our activity stopped, we would be nothing, we would be lost, life would have
no meaning at all; so we keep going in conflict, in confusion, in
antagonism. But we are also aware that there is something more, that there
is an otherness which is above and beyond all this misery. Thus we are in
constant battle within ourselves. The greater the outward show, the greater
the inward poverty.
(Krishnamurti)
Insecurity
The desire to be noticed is not a healthy one. It speaks of an inner gulf.
Of a sense of worthlessness. Why would you want fuss and attention?
There is a Chinese curse:
May you come to the attention of people in
high places.
It warns of the danger of being popular/famous.
Not all attention is good attention...
Drama queen?
Some people behave as if they were the only person in the universe that
encounters problems or setbacks in life. Everything that happens to them is
considered to be unique and enormous.
This is quite a drag for everyone else. After all, we all have things to
deal with. The good, the bad and the ugly. It's just the nature of life.
Beyond egotism
You do not need recognition. You do not need to be famous. Or to have
prestige. These are shadows. Cheap illusions for the shallow-minded.
Taoism abhors the show off. It advocates a life of anonymity and quietude.
The last thing we want is to 'make a name' for ourselves. Egotism has no
place in tai chi.
Context friendships
We all form relationships with people that are the product of the situation.
e.g. most work friendships are fine in the context of the workplace but
might fail miserably if we attempted to expand that relationship beyond
work. This is normal and healthy.
A night off
The by-product of the tai chi environment is a reprieve from the game
playing commonly found in various situations that occur in our lives.
Rather than step cautiously through the minefield of self-promotion and
competitive conduct, we can relax. No one gets rewarded for being a
smartarse, mean or sarcastic.
There is no merit in playing games. These sorts of behaviours have no place
in a tai chi class. Our interactions are straightforward, direct, honest.
Game playing is frowned upon.
It is easier and more satisfying for everyone to relax and get along.
Please be considerate
Please leave your baggage outside the class... We encourage people to be
healthy, to let go, to de-stress, to have fun. A political conversation or a
list of health problems is sabotaging the class.
It perpetuates a miserable habit and will not make anyone feel good. Least of
all you...
Niwa
Interaction with the instructor is of particular importance, as this commonly
entails the passing-on of knowledge, bespoke physical corrections and the
exploration of deeper philosophical issues pertinent to the training.
Ideally, a tai chi school should be a good place to be: a pure place. There is
no meanness or petty behaviour, no malice or sarcasm.
Good humour, camaraderie, polite manners, consideration, respect and fun result
in a pleasant training environment.
The work
Tai chi people have a lot to do in class. They are working on their minds,
bodies and emotions. This may not sound like much until you begin to consider
the difference between the idea and the reality.
You may think that your body is strong, graceful, nimble, well coordinated and
flexible... until you flounder when challenged with a simple-seeming movement.
Suddenly you are faced with the fact that your body does not quite obey your
commands.
Onion
The training is like unpeeling an onion. You have to explore your thoughts, your
memories, your habits, your ideas. You must scrutinise your emotional responses
and evaluate their purpose and worth.
There is no time for petty, cultural game playing or rivalry. Tai chi students
have a lot of work to do. Much of it is done at home between classes.
Lessons are an opportunity to work on things with other people and receive
important corrections, insights and new material.
Be your better self
Somewhere along the journey, self-image fades. The mind is quiet and rested. The
chattering voice is gone.
Tai chi students have no need to perform an image, to keep up appearances (or
any of the other weak traits demonstrated by the insecure).
Instead, there is a child-like feeling of freedom. No longer requiring the
facades so common in adulthood, the self is now genuine; real, sincere, strong
and friendly
Of all the
people who begin the discipline of tai chi, only a handful will continue
past a year or so. Humility, compassion, lack of ambition, non-aggression,
spontaneity and silence are not qualities that our societies value. There is
no more difficult journey than the journey to the self.
(John Lash)
Page created
8 April 2007
Last updated
16 June 2023
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