Getting your own way | ||
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Gratification
People are usually motivated by the quest for
gratification.
They seek out things that please them and avoid things that fail to measure
up.
New starters sometimes commence a martial arts class and imagine that they
can 'cherry pick' the syllabus.
Typically, they are quietly instructed to get on with the training.
Service industry?
A martial arts class is not about gratification. This is a very important
thing to recognise.
It is not the 'service industry'.
Martial arts schools have existed for centuries. They have only one purpose:
to teach you combat skills.
Their role is not to please you.
"I just want to be
happy."
All the time?
(Pritchard)
May your wishes
be granted
People are seldom in possession of the whole story. We operate with partial
knowledge.
And the less you understand, the less informed your choices are.
If you act without appropriate context, insight and
understanding, your
actions may easily be misguided and confused.
The danger with getting your own way is that your capacity to determine
importance and relevance is impaired.
What you think is important may not necessary be the best
choice in
hindsight.
Opinion
A student may have a variety of opinions and notions concerning their chosen
art, but these rarely coincide with the actuality of the art.
If the students aims to impose their will upon the martial art, the outcome
will be misguided.
The student will only practice what pleases them. And much will be neglected
and overlooked.
In Taoist terms, this is called
'the cart seeking to lead the horse'.
Unless the student is a skilled practitioner, they have no idea how to teach
the art, or what the goals are.
Consequently, they have no idea how best to accomplish those aims.
Hearing what you want to hear...
Sometimes people ignore what they don't
agree with or don't want to
listen to. This is naive. And ignorant.
A good example is Dr Michael Greger (author of How Not To
Die) recommends 90 minutes of moderate-intensity exercise every day.
How many people read Dr Greger's expert advice and immediately dismiss
it?
It is wise to consider the origin of Dr Greger's advice. He's not saying
it to be bossy or unreasonable. His insight is the outcome of many years of
professional research, exploration and study.
His suggestion echoes what three doctors wrote in The
Okinawa Program after an exhaustive 25 years of study and
practical research.
Now ask yourself a single important question: given that four doctors are
giving professional advice backed up by many years of experience,
who are
you to simply dismiss it? And on what grounds?
Have you any professional, provable basis to debunk these doctors?
Ignoring etiquette
Students often selectively ignore the
Code of Conduct. They choose when, if and how to
bow. They don't remove their shoes when
visiting the instructor's house.
They greet the instructor in a casual, familiar way,
"Hiya!"
None of these are okay. If they become habit, Sifu Waller will simply
treat them as misconduct, and your
membership is in jeopardy.
Thwarted
When something prevents a person from getting their own way, the response is
often to become emotional.
Instead of accepting the situation, or considering alternatives, the
individual pushes harder.
They complain, they argue, they become offensive.
'Saying your piece' or 'getting something off your chest' may be fine for a
counselling service.
But not for a martial arts class.
A person of strong character endures silently.
They take the corrections, the hardship and the difficulties.
Being thwarted is an opportunity to change. To adapt. To improvise.
Functionality
When a student is denied an area of training it is for a good reason. For
example: a student who cannot perform the Long Yang competently is
wasting their time seeking sword forms.
Walk before you can run?
Similarly, if a person with arthritis, vertigo or chronic fatigue syndrome
cannot functionally (or safely) undertake tai chi. This is not meanness.
The individual is physically incapable of doing
the training.
The attacker
An attacker will not accommodate you. Their intention is to cause you harm.
Losing your temper or becoming aggressive will not aid your plight.
You need to remain calm and composed.
Instead of trying to force an outcome, move with what is happening and take
advantage of any opening that presents itself.
In class
Martial arts classes are designed to temper the ego and quash arrogance.
A student must learn patience and humility, respect and consideration.
Invariably, this means not getting your own way.
Page created
18 April 1995
Last updated
26 February 2001
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